I really hate people. If it weren't for them buying the merchandise I shill for the kind and generous corporations that trickle upon me, I'd probably just kill them all.
I discovered this while thinking of my new year's resolutions. So my resolutions include to take some part time jobs that shill goods that help deform & kill people, like cigarettes. This way, I can pay for the gas in my SUV and my wife's yellow Hummer so we don't have to walk 6 blocks to the grocery store.
Come to think of it, I'd hate my wife too, but I have to love her for our lord Jesus (prAISE JEEsus).