Thursday, July 27, 2006

MySpace Love

If you have an ad blocker or have your firewall set to block anything from (as I do :P), you won't be able to see the fine denim covered buttocks selling love via MySpace.

For some reason, they've targeted me for this ad (as I sign out) despite having marked being married with children and the MySpace equivalent of fat ("more to love"). Not that anything I enter there is true, but maybe I'd like to something bigger that can leave a shill a little something between the cheeks.

Of course, I wouldn't mind something hairy either. And why only 1 click? Shouldn't love be a multiple clickgasm?

Anyway, the point of this is (i.e., Atlas "a partner for results" and subsidiary of aQuantive) is paying (i.e., an "other asset" of Rupert Murdoch's News Corp. that owns and dictates what Fox News "reports") to sell "love".

Use MySpace, abuse MySpace, but do not pay for it. It's a shilling device, not to be paid for or given information you would want sold and resold among advertisers and "partners" or the governments and organizations that can easily acquire the information from them for their own purposes, which I'm sure never involves spying or any invasions of your privacy.

Update 2006.11.13
Now I'm a lesbian...

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Clerks II Ass to Mouth Question

Clerks II turns this into some sort of morality issue. The question is not should you go ass to mouth. The question is why.

Why return to the mouth when the person has opened their ass to you?

Take the Lebanon; forget the Israel. Embrace the ass. Feel the ass. Dig into that asshole. Caress the cheeks with your cheeks. Spread them. Kiss them. Lick them. Squeeze them. Hold them and never let them go.

It really makes no sense to bother with the mouth anymore. Unless, of course, you were 69'n and want to share the taste of each other's ass mixed together. Otherwise, give that ass one final slap and get back to the business of transferring corporate bribes to offshore bank accounts or leaking information about people that dare to disagree with your leader.

Friday, July 21, 2006

Hot Puzzle Action

This was not taken from a school book. This will not appear in a school book. Solving this will not turn you into a dork that stays inside all summer reading or programming your computer to do stupid things like share movies and music.

Instead, you will continue to go to the theater and pay full price to listen to cell phones ring, babies cry, teen girls talk about the boys they really like, and people munch on food like they're in a bar with their fat buddies watching a game on big screen TV. As a bonus, you will overpay for genetically modified food that will make you fat, give you zits, and probably cause you or your baby to develop some deformity that an industry will be sued for 20 years from now.

A simple problem so not too many of your brain cells die while all you kiddies do nothing during the hot summer. I know, some weird people live south of the equator, so it's a relatively warm, slushy winter.

The puzzle: You are with a person of the gender you prefer. Neither of you have any genetic deformities nor have had any of your limbs blown off in a war. If you are squeezing a nipple and the other person is squeezing a nipple, how many hands are left to attend to parts below the belly button?

Those that post the correct answer will get a link to a video of President Bush being given the middle finger by a little girl.

Monday, July 17, 2006

He-Boobie Evolution

For a limited time, discover the glorious history the now extinct great-woolly-he-boobie of America.

Imagine the joy of mating with one of these instead of a skinny freak like Katie Holmes.

It's not as fun as reading about Bush avoiding North Korea's WMD testing, but you do get to see how relatives of Vice President Dick Cheney look before they become extinct from the climate crisis. All the smart shills are investing in sun-tan lotion stock.

Sunday, July 02, 2006

Defeat Flag Terrorism

This 4th of July, not only do we need to shoot and explode fireworks on those desecrating the flag by burning it or putting a flag sticker on their hummer, we need to shoot those that desecrate our proud American corporate logos.

After all, we are celebrating the birth of the USA and our liberty, not free speech. Show them the way to god by putting that firecracker in a special spot.

If you see some one abusing any of these American corporate logos that symbolize the victory of freedom and Jesus over terrorism and Mohammed, be sure to punish them severely. If they're doing it on the Web with one of those funny graphics programs like Gimp, report their treason to the site's administrator. Those images must be removed. Think of the children.
  • Halliburton
  • Exxon
  • Coca-cola
  • McDonalds
  • Wal-Mart