The Worst of 2008

A lot of bad things happened in 2008. Time failed in its claim to have the top 10 of everything by excluding the most horrible. One could only hope that Obama's inauguration speech was only 2 words: "My bad." Now that it's officially over and we have a month of perspective, I've tried to reduce it to the top 10 most horrible things that happened in 2008. I might add more, because I think all kinds of secrets about liberal atrocities will be released to the public once Bush & Cheney are freed from the restrictions of the White House.

• We didn't use the surge to invade Iran.
• President Bush was not elected to a 3rd term.
• Vice President Cheney did not run for President.
• They didn't turn The Colbert Report into an hourly report and fire Jon Stewart.
• McCain was refused the right to find and kill Osama bin Laden.
• Sarah Palin was ignored by the liberal media.
• Rachel Maddow was allowed on TV.
• Courts refused Vice President Cheney the right to destroy secret documents.
• Franken won.
• Obama won.

There is a holy light in the sky, however. Israel is taking advantage of Bush-Cheney's plan to liberate the world to bomb Gaza and the UN into freedom. This clearly shows the great offensive capabilities of freedom to score on the terrorists. Enjoy the explosions while you can. We're going to be stuck with another tree-hugging liberal who won't let us so much as enjoy even a deep sea offshore oil eruption.

STOP! Do Not Vote!

Relax. Leave "Super Tuesday" and caucus voting to the experts. After all, they gave us George W. Bush. There's still plenty of Super Bowl highlights to watch again and to talk about with real smart people on sports radio now.

Not to mention all the quality TV available to watch now that the writers are on strike. You can even enjoy FOX News accurate and quality updates on celebrity news and Super Tuesday while they inform you about all the failings for the Democrats that they heard about from some people they know.

Most important, don't vote twice. Even though, technically, you can go to both the Democrat and Republican caucus polling places and legally vote for a Democratic and Republican candidate at each, only experts really understand how to do this. Non-experts frequently suffer brain sprains. Which is why TV and talk radio are the best options of safe and secure real Americans.