The One, True, Virgin Born Tongue

Some of you have been wondering what good is a shill. But I'm not just any shill. I'm the one, true shill. The shill who's tongue is the only known one to have experienced virgin birth. So pure it is that it can slip into even the tightest crack. While my nose lacks the lubrication and dexterity of my tongue, it is very capable of slipping in after my tongue has secured entry.

Cheney & Rove give Birth to Hayden

White House Deputy Chief of Staff Karl Rove and Vice President Cheney unveiled the first product of the secret funding where all the tax dollars for Iraq have actually been going. It has been known as Mission Clone.

The child of their special love has been named General Michael Hayden and will rule the CIA as its new director.


President Bush and 1st Lady Laura were named as godfather and godmother. Stephen Colbert has promised to gain some extra weight.