Kissed by a Bush

Or, how to use Bush league logic.

• Oil prices at record highs.
• Oil company profits at record highs.
• Gas prices rising and nearing record highs.
• Therefore, make it easier for oil companies to pollute and work on starting a new war in Iran.

A comic for the good boys and girls that don't believe in the environment monster.

Remember, impeachment of President Bush means we get Dick for president, not some crony fairy. Support Vice President Cheney, liberate the Bush. And pretty soon, Kaavya Viswanathan will be writing a book about how America got kissed by a prince while Pink sings Dear Mr. Sycophant on Youtube.

Impeach Bush - Give Dick a chance!

Awww, cute, little Georgie boy isn't going to get his war in Iran. Nuclear intelligence just doesn't seem to agree with Bush. His cute little cheer leader Michelle Malkin will be very sad. He'll have to stomp up and down and demand TV time to "take it to the people". The people certainly know how to take it.

This brings up the highly important question of why isn't Dick president? Am I not praying hard enough? Bush has less going on between his ears than a radioactive waste site. Vice President Cheney, besides being hotter than the Duke lacrosse team, has proven his ability to handle financial interests of his own and at Halliburton.

When do the impeachment hearings begin? Football doesn't start for another 5 months and baseball is boring and filled with all those negro-South-American half-breed freedom-haters from little Spanish islands sneaking into our country.

Comic Book Upgrade

It used to be that comic book producers could make a profit on regular cross and flag logo placement. Propaganda marketing from church and state "funding" combined with some cheap advertising for various quackery made life good.

Terrorists and republicans are winning, however. With all the easy flag waving going on, demand is down sharply for flag waving superheroes. It's hard to compete with a stud Texan war-president like George W. Bush and his sidekicks Dick 'The Hunter" Cheney and Donald "The Torturer" Rumsfeld.

Ad-guy to the rescue! Now comic books are providing product placement just like TV and movies. Cigarette-man is just a smoke away while Cola-woman keeps things cool. I learned this from one of my favorite sites for all things shill, PRwatch.org. They reported on a Wall Street Journal article that, of course, wrote about it in glowing terms because it will help comic book stock. Comic book corporations have an elusive target market in brain-dead 20-something "men" along with the pre-geek kids.

Wake me up when Condomman and Pillgirl have a Saturday morning cartoon.

Good Friday

Um, that's, like, redundant.

Yet another reason to impeach that pope-sympathizer Bush. As President, Vice President Cheney will make a real man like Donald Rumsfeld vice president and make retarded holidays an illegal torturable offense just like abortion. Violators will be forced to drink Halliburton water. He'll also kick all those flip-flopping catholics out of the country back to Mexico where they belong. We need zero tolerance for those terrorist sympathizers, and only true born again christians, not Easter bunny licking catholics, can give us that.

A Poem for President Bush

It's hard to express my love for Dick and George in writing. So I thought maybe a poem would work. If those terrorist helping liberal scumbags can write them, why can't I?

There once was a Bush
who fell on his tush
while choking his turds away
he then fell down
while adjusting his crown
unable to ride a bike
and pray

The seat was stuck
up into his gut
deep, deep he cried it was hard
to do his job
without a drink all day

Scooter, you're no Shill

Scooter Libby
Scooter Libby
Scooter Libby
How could you? You were so obedient. Then you go rat on George and Dick just because you might go to jail for a little while? Now Duke Cunningham, there's a true shill. You'll never be a patriotic United States soldier, much less a true shill.

All this does is benefit the
liberal terrorists. Plame and Wilson should be locked up for what they've done. President Bush and Vice President Cheney will be remembered forever in history. Give me a couple hours and I'll think of something positive they will be remembered for.

Why isn't Dick President yet?

Why is Bush still president? He keeps making Michael Moore look like a genius. Moore had an entire part of his Fahrenheit film dedicated to Bush having cozy relations with questionable Arabs. What does Bush do a year after the film? He attempts to sell our ports to an Arab country that financed the 9/11 terrorists and provided a safe-haven for Osama bin-Laden. Impeach him already.

All Vice President Cheney did was commit an act of treason by putting a CIA operative's life in danger. At least he knows how to keep people in line. He obviously knows how to make a company profitable without selling off its assets. Look how well Halliburton is doing.

What does Bush do? He tries to spy on everybody in America, starts wars he doesn't finish, and then starts new ones he can't finish.

When there's an emergency like Katrina, he's on vacation. When there's torture, he can't decide whether to deny it, blame it on somebody else, blame it on news reporting, or claim he had the right to do it all along.

We deserve better than this. We deserve impeachment. We deserve Dick.