Dick Cheney's Shill at Halliburton

Wikipedia pwnd again

2009-05-08T19:48:00.004-05:00

Your friend Pro-Lick wanted us to send you this from Dilbert.com.

And not even by someone significant. Topped by Topper. Oh, the indignity. The social network posing as an encyclopedia gets Dilberted, and it didn't even require Dogbert.

Colbert Study: Liberals Don't Know he's Serious

2009-04-28T10:29:00.001-05:00

The actual title of the article is "Colbert Study: Conservatives Don't Know He's Joking". But everybody knows Stephen Colbert of The Colbert Report is dead serious, except the liberals, of course. They're off drinking Kool-Aid listening to socialist radio stations that support leftists like Al Franken. Nothing but more liberal media lies. Ohio State should file a lawsuit against them for distorting their research.

digg user ProLick would like to share this story with you:
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"Colbert Study: Conservatives Don't Know He's Joking"
A study from Ohio State University, which proves, with math and stuff, that lots of conservatives seem to not understand the intrinsic, underlying joke of The Colbert Report:
+2,832 people dugg this story

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Why Lying about Sex with Your Intern is Worse than Torture

2009-04-26T09:58:00.001-05:00

In the form of a comic titled: What The (insert an F) uck is Wrong With America

digg user ProLick would like to share this story with you:
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"What The uck is Wrong With America (comic version)"
Torture lies ... it's not like someone lied about having sex with an intern.
+3 people dugg this story

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The Worst of 2008

2009-02-01T14:06:00.003-06:00

A lot of bad things happened in 2008. Time failed in its claim to have the top 10 of everything by excluding the most horrible. One could only hope that Obama's inauguration speech was only 2 words: "My bad." Now that it's officially over and we have a month of perspective, I've tried to reduce it to the top 10 most horrible things that happened in 2008. I might add more, because I think all kinds of secrets about liberal atrocities will be released to the public once Bush & Cheney are freed from the restrictions of the White House.

We didn't use the surge to invade Iran.
President Bush was not elected to a 3rd term.
Vice President Cheney did not run for President.
They didn't turn The Colbert Report into an hourly report and fire Jon Stewart.
McCain was refused the right to find and kill Osama bin Laden.
Sarah Palin was ignored by the liberal media.
Rachel Maddow was allowed on TV.
Courts refused Vice President Cheney the right to destroy secret documents.
Franken won.
Obama won.

There is a holy light in the sky, however. Israel is taking advantage of Bush-Cheney's plan to liberate the world to bomb Gaza and the UN into freedom. This clearly shows the great offensive capabilities of freedom to score on the terrorists. Enjoy the explosions while you can. We're going to be stuck with another tree-hugging liberal who won't let us so much as enjoy even a deep sea offshore oil eruption.

The Joy of Shill'n

2008-10-12T14:09:00.004-05:00

As fellow shills like Sarah Palin know, one of the great pleasures in life is lying. People have to prove you wrong, and in the process, they keep repeating the lie, especially the media, aka the echo chamber. I prefer to view it as a free ad service for the successful with power and money.

The main stream media, as my friend Karl Rove knows, are just a bunch of simpletons who repeat whatever you feed them - like the Wall Street Journal echoing stock quotes. As Bush echoed for Rove, "the filter". More importantly, regardless of how big and nasty the lie, even the fact checkers go out of their way to be courteous and avoid potential legal problems. Maybe they'll eventually criticize it as a "distortion" or "exaggeration" like the losers at FactCheck.org or the liberals at Salon.com, but they still echo the lie itself and the mass media rarely follows up, content to move on to whatever is new and hot.

The important thing is they repeat your brand name and your lie, and most often both in the headline and summary, and few people read beyond that. It's like advertising without the pain of paying for it or those long, tedious notifications about the accuracy of the claims. That's why you should believe "Palin - the Hockey Mom Candidate", "McCain-Palin Repeat Obama Palling Around with Terrorists", "America Must Pass Bailout Plan Immediately", and "Bush Says Everything Will be Fine".

To be continued....

STOP! Do Not Vote!

2008-02-05T10:57:00.000-06:00

Relax. Leave "Super Tuesday" and caucus voting to the experts. After all, they gave us George W. Bush. There's still plenty of Super Bowl highlights to watch again and to talk about with real smart people on sports radio now.

Not to mention all the quality TV available to watch now that the writers are on strike. You can even enjoy FOX News accurate and quality updates on celebrity news and Super Tuesday while they inform you about all the failings for the Democrats that they heard about from some people they know.

Most important, don't vote twice. Even though, technically, you can go to both the Democrat and Republican caucus polling places and legally vote for a Democratic and Republican candidate at each, only experts really understand how to do this. Non-experts frequently suffer brain sprains. Which is why TV and talk radio are the best options of safe and secure real Americans.

Squat On It

2007-12-30T14:39:00.000-06:00

Fox News always provides the latest in anus comforting toilet paper to wipe with. The 2 latest phrasal prints include:

"the behind the scenes"
"common knowledge"

The 1st we need to thank Sean Hannity of Fox News for using. Sean, as I'm sure you're aware, is an up and comer with expertise in hair management. The 2nd I noticed just the other day when an expert in echoing official Republican opinion used it on Answerbag.

The behind the scenes is is that Fox News has hired the Answerbag correspondent from Voice Of America after VOA decided it had enough answers in the bag on the Internet to control common knowledge. Fox News: you can squat on it. As dependable as your toilet, ready to flush on demand. Larry Craig optional.

Play Footsy with me

2007-06-24T15:46:00.000-05:00

I decided to wash my feet today. It's always a sad day when I have scrub away the wonderful aroma they have accrued. But since I was already washing the other AStoundingly Splendiferous smelling place on my body, I decided to give each footsy a fair and balanced scrubbing too.

Teacher/Coach (40) Marries 16-year-old High School Student

Trust Wikipedians to Remember the Heroes

2007-05-28T18:31:00.000-05:00

Today, I read about the importance of morale versus experience or expertise on the Wikipedia internal mailing list.

It was a memorial that nobody wants a historian that's spent 20 years studying history and archeaology digs, or a doctor that's spent 6 years studying chemistry and biology and 4 in practice. We'd much prefer a kid tell us what 4 out of 5 unnamed dentists recommend on a commercial site for a large corporation selling pharmaceuticals and spending money on motivational speakers to keep employee morale high.

As Stephen Colbert said in an interview with Wikipedia founder Jimmy Wales:
"What I love about it is that it brings democracy to information. For too long, the elites that study things got to say what is or isn't real." - The Colbert Report, 2007.05.24

That's why it's far better to keep guys like Wolfie happy and doing a heckuva job than like cut-and-run Japanese government officials hanging themselves over a little $236,000 bookkeeping "fraud". Just ask Paul Wolfowitz. He'll tell you the $400,000 he received to step down as the World Bank president kept his morale and terrorist fighting productivity high.

Halliburton featured in Doonesbury

2007-05-21T12:16:00.000-05:00

Finally, this Garry Trudeau guy of Doonesbury is coming around. Halliburton just doesn't receive enough recognition for it's support of the troops. The Sunday Doonesbury from May 13 features Halliburton's excellent food service, keeping the troops sharp.

Movie of the year Update

2007-05-21T12:01:00.000-05:00

I changed my mind, and my nose. Perfume - Story of a Murderer was easily the best film of at least the last 2 years, not just 2006. How the Academy can ignore a film that features the fine art of sniffing is beyond me.

Movie Pig

2007-02-25T21:28:00.000-06:00

On this Oscar night when Little Miss Sunshine should be the obvious pick since Blood Diamonds, Idiocracy, and Clerks 2 didn't get nominated, I will be ranking a couple sites that claim to know your tastes as as well or better than you.

Despite the the pretty piggy interface, MoviePig.com is not quite as smart as a pig. You'll probably need to rank over 100 films before it has a clue. Despite it's claims to be able to accurately judge your taste, it is consistently way off even after entering more than 50 films, even after I entered 90 picks.

I decided to give it a try after reading a couple glowing reviews in shill-trusted resources, like news columnists of large, corporate-owned newspapers and TV that show teens the best sites on the Internets. Teens always get shown the best stuff.

I logged on as PigTester http://www.moviepig.com/pwp/PIGTESTER.html (you can see what I ranked) and started ranking.

After a while, I started testing it, dropping films I'd actually already seen to see if its software actually predicts how I'd rank it. It was consistently wrong, even after ranking films it requested I rank so it could make a better prediction (it does this after every rank request even after 90 picks, so I think it's actually part of some target marketing scam).

One of the biggest and most obvious failures came after I ranked about 50. I ranked the Illusionist, then a couple more. Then dropped in Prestige. Except for the film studio shills who would argue over which is the best simply to get you to see both, they are in fact very similar films, and both worth watching (and I say this despite not receiving an upfront shill fee). Yet the little piggy failed to go to town, even asking me for to rank some more before predicting, and then still failing.

Equally horrendous is it's incompleteness, lacking greats like The Truman Show, Blade Runner, Alien, A Clockwork Orange, Misery, Deliverance, Midnight Express, or Fight Club. They appear to be limited to the last five years. Unacceptable when the Internet, cable, and film rentals give anyone a far more expansive personal history to better judge their own tastes.

I'm predicting the moviepig is in fact just a nice front site to get people to watch recent films they wouldn't bother watching otherwise and to advertise more stuff to them.

It's hard to criticize a site like that. Even after 90 picks, the 91st was pretty much recommending raw hindquarters (mmmm, yummy) to a vegetarian.

I tried out criticker afterwards. While it lacks the pretty piggy interface, it guesses better, provides nearly as many films as IMDB, and the ability to easily see what actual critics tend to have a similar taste as you. You also get to read summaries of their reviews. The major drawback is the speed. The site even freezes at times. But you don't have to enter 100 films before it starts making useful predictions. You do need to enter in hated and OK films along with your favorites in order for it to work. Unfortunately, if you've seen a lot like me, its predictions get worse as your number and complexity increases.

Which brings us to this years Oscars. Its users actually like departed the best of the list. Apparently having Scorsese and Nicholson on the same film get you lots of brownie points, because it really doesn't deserve an Oscar nomination. Of those picked, Babel, Letters from Iwo Jima, and Queen all are solid films that deserve their nomination. Little Miss Sunshine is easily the best, but I'd be surprised if it gets the pick.

Why We Need Corporations

2007-02-01T10:58:00.000-06:00

This is why we need corporations. While free people are out wasting money, hard working corporations like Exxon are making money.

Death to the Polar Bears

2007-01-15T13:12:00.000-06:00

If a polar ice shelf breaks off then melts and nobody notices, will it still cause global warming?
Ancient Ice Shelf Breaks Free from Canadian Arctic

More Troops, More Deaths, More Money

2007-01-10T22:38:00.000-06:00

I could say I told you so (see below) but instead I'll use Stephen Colbert's elegant phrase:
I called it!

On top of that, the troop addition article says it is "to quell its near-anarchy." If that's the case, we liberated Iraq as promised and have already won the war. What are people complaining about? Saddam Hussein is dead and we're nice enough to stick around and help them police the country, rebuild, and bury the dead.

Still on Course

2006-11-13T11:04:00.000-06:00

Plenty of digging work to do still:

75 more bodies found in Iraq

No need to worry about the election results. Still business as usual. I wouldn't consider selling Halliburton stock until January when the Democrats actually control congress. Even then, Bush is still President, Cheney is still Vice President, and they can still veto. The Democrats don't have enough control to override a veto.

Senator George Allen is a Shill too

2006-10-09T09:19:00.000-05:00

Let's take a moment to welcome Senator Allen of Virginia to the shill world.

He still has to work on some of his shill skills. The best shills get paid up front or under the table instead of in options. Granted, in options, the better job you do shilling, the more money you make. It's also still difficult legally to call it a bribe. It takes advantage of general ignorance of stock options. It worked for Cheney.

You can read about it in:

Fox News, the Washington Times, and other Republican PR tools are doing their best to keep it quiet and the news focused on other distractions, like Foley. Good job!

He's been promoting corporations he worked for to the military and for other government contracts for the last five years. Like the great Dick Cheney, he accepted options as payment. He'll also probably end up having to "donate" the money to his favorite "charities". Charities pay too. Great way to lock in a job if your political career stalls.

Iraq Contracts - Get'm while they're HOT

2006-09-18T17:20:00.000-05:00

I think the message is obvious to most, but just in case. That's easy money for our Halliburton divisions. Don't let the Iraqis get the easy contracts. Just because we're not digging oil wells doesn't mean we can't put our digging equipment to use. They'll have to cement those off soon, too, and we have cementing services (ElastiCem™) to offer.

Primary Election Voting Guide

2006-09-18T12:34:00.000-05:00

Normally, you can just ignore these elections. I received a letter from one unfortunate mom, however, who lives in Massachusetts. She has to chose between a woman and a macaca for her governor.

According to studies performed by researchers at The Colbert Report, when you live in an east coast, ivy-league state like Massachusetts, you can't behave like a real American. You have to vote in Democratic party primaries.

The easiest way is usually to vote for whoever has the simplest name to pronounce. The harder it is to pronounce, the more likely that it's actually a covert terrorist. If you have extra time, you can also follow the money. The best method is to select the candidate who has received the most money from oil, gun, alcohol, and tobacco companies. The corporations know best.

If all that still results in a tie, go with whoever talks about babies and family the most. The Godless ones try to avoid the subject by talking about health and education.

America Remembers 5.0

2006-09-11T13:57:00.000-05:00

Or Never Forget 5.0.

Or as a film, America Remembers 5 - The Zombies Return.

Either way, you'll enjoy this more than listening to President Bush and Republican politicians trying to cash in on terrorism and sadness again. Much, much, much more than listening to yet another coworker's story about what he/she/it was doing on 9/11.

Funny, shocking, and you won't cry unless you think about taxes or gas.

If you find it too small, this is the large screen version. Just use the above link if you want to check out more of his flash animations (complete with sound effects, so office workers adjust your volume).

It includes all our fearless leaders: Vice President Cheney, Iraq War Secretary Rumsfeld, and even the very hot Condi Rice. But for some reason Halliburton is left out. I guarantee you that Halliburton would have a high-rise oil well built on the World Trade Center ground by the end of the month. Just sign the contract.

Today's Word: Front Organization

2006-08-28T14:49:00.000-05:00

Brought to you by my friends at Vets for Freedom. You can help fund them through the Vets for Freedom Action Fund.

They are in no way connected with my friends at The Donatelli Group. They may not be an emmy winner, but they'll make sure you don't slip to a nip.

Terrorist Macacas

2006-08-27T22:06:00.000-05:00

Beware, they're everywhere!

and liberate Puto from the terrorist astronomers that blame Earth first and run.

Lieberman Hacks Own Site for Free Publicity

2006-08-08T14:38:00.000-05:00

And the media jump in eager to help and report Web site "hacking". Despite being a "liberal media". A great analysis of Lieberman's ploy.

Rather odd that someone that supported wiretapping and all Bush's pretend security "measures" can't even protect his own Internet site. Lieberman doesn't actually need it because he already has a U.S. taxpayer paid site:

The reality is Lieberman is way behind Ned Lamont. He desperately wants any sympathy he can get and, of course, the typical political attack of trying to make your opponent look like a crook. Lieberman's the one with a huge collection of corporate contributions supporting his campaign. A liar, a crook, and another reason for ridiculously high oil and gas prices.

If you're in Connecticut, vote in the primary. Now. It's today. If he were a Cheney shill instead of a Bush shill, I might support him. After all, he's a Jew, and everybody knows all Jews are shills.

As it is, yet another reason not to trust Lieberman and to vote for Lamont. Copy and paste Joe2006.com into your browser to see the site.

Wikiality

2006-08-05T11:59:00.000-05:00

Wikiality is the reality that Wikipedia can't handle. I contribute my services there as a Stephen Colbert historian.

Update 2006.08.10

I also contribute services at wikiality.com as a Protector of Truthiness.
There are about 15 actual news articles on wikiality now. Wikipedia and it's dictionary site Wiktionary still refuse to allow it to be added. For now. The truthiness will prevail eventually.

MySpace Love

2006-07-27T14:19:00.000-05:00

If you have an ad blocker or have your firewall set to block anything from atdmt.com (as I do :P), you won't be able to see the fine denim covered buttocks selling love via MySpace.

For some reason, they've targeted me for this ad (as I sign out) despite having marked being married with children and the MySpace equivalent of fat ("more to love"). Not that anything I enter there is true, but maybe I'd like to something bigger that can leave a shill a little something between the cheeks.

Of course, I wouldn't mind something hairy either. And why only 1 click? Shouldn't love be a multiple clickgasm?

Anyway, the point of this is atdmt.com (i.e., Atlas "a partner for results" and subsidiary of aQuantive) is paying MySpace.com (i.e., an "other asset" of Rupert Murdoch's News Corp. that owns and dictates what Fox News "reports") to sell "love".

Use MySpace, abuse MySpace, but do not pay for it. It's a shilling device, not to be paid for or given information you would want sold and resold among advertisers and "partners" or the governments and organizations that can easily acquire the information from them for their own purposes, which I'm sure never involves spying or any invasions of your privacy.

Update 2006.11.13
Now I'm a lesbian...

Clerks II Ass to Mouth Question

2006-07-26T12:12:00.000-05:00

Clerks II turns this into some sort of morality issue. The question is not should you go ass to mouth. The question is why.

Why return to the mouth when the person has opened their ass to you?

Take the Lebanon; forget the Israel. Embrace the ass. Feel the ass. Dig into that asshole. Caress the cheeks with your cheeks. Spread them. Kiss them. Lick them. Squeeze them. Hold them and never let them go.

It really makes no sense to bother with the mouth anymore. Unless, of course, you were 69'n and want to share the taste of each other's ass mixed together. Otherwise, give that ass one final slap and get back to the business of transferring corporate bribes to offshore bank accounts or leaking information about people that dare to disagree with your leader.

Hot Puzzle Action

2006-07-21T13:31:00.000-05:00

This was not taken from a school book. This will not appear in a school book. Solving this will not turn you into a dork that stays inside all summer reading or programming your computer to do stupid things like share movies and music.

Instead, you will continue to go to the theater and pay full price to listen to cell phones ring, babies cry, teen girls talk about the boys they really like, and people munch on food like they're in a bar with their fat buddies watching a game on big screen TV. As a bonus, you will overpay for genetically modified food that will make you fat, give you zits, and probably cause you or your baby to develop some deformity that an industry will be sued for 20 years from now.

A simple problem so not too many of your brain cells die while all you kiddies do nothing during the hot summer. I know, some weird people live south of the equator, so it's a relatively warm, slushy winter.

The puzzle: You are with a person of the gender you prefer. Neither of you have any genetic deformities nor have had any of your limbs blown off in a war. If you are squeezing a nipple and the other person is squeezing a nipple, how many hands are left to attend to parts below the belly button?

Those that post the correct answer will get a link to a video of President Bush being given the middle finger by a little girl.

He-Boobie Evolution

2006-07-17T12:05:00.000-05:00

For a limited time, discover the glorious history the now extinct great-woolly-he-boobie of America.

Imagine the joy of mating with one of these instead of a skinny freak like Katie Holmes.

It's not as fun as reading about Bush avoiding North Korea's WMD testing, but you do get to see how relatives of Vice President Dick Cheney look before they become extinct from the climate crisis. All the smart shills are investing in sun-tan lotion stock.

Defeat Flag Terrorism

2006-07-02T18:00:00.000-05:00

This 4th of July, not only do we need to shoot and explode fireworks on those desecrating the flag by burning it or putting a flag sticker on their hummer, we need to shoot those that desecrate our proud American corporate logos.

After all, we are celebrating the birth of the USA and our liberty, not free speech. Show them the way to god by putting that firecracker in a special spot.

If you see some one abusing any of these American corporate logos that symbolize the victory of freedom and Jesus over terrorism and Mohammed, be sure to punish them severely. If they're doing it on the Web with one of those funny graphics programs like Gimp, report their treason to the site's administrator. Those images must be removed. Think of the children.

Halliburton
Exxon
Coca-cola
McDonalds
Wal-Mart

Rush Limbaugh likes Big African-Latino Bottoms

2006-06-28T10:37:00.000-05:00

Sure, all us shills do. Rush, however, probably likes it unprotected and under-age, too. And I wouldn't rule out boys. As you probably already laughed about, Rush got caught on his way back from vacation in the 84% non-white Dominican Republic with an unprescribed bottle of Viagra.

Rush could have gotten protected sex, even involving the non-procreative back hole, in Nevada without having to go through international airport security. Getting Viagra without a prescription in the USA is not exactly difficult. Of course, he would have been required to do it with an adult and use a protective device
Cover
Organ
Negate
Disease
Or
Maternity
for the pedophile's
Puny
Erect
Non
Insertable
Sword.

It's not like some young, hot babe (or stud) is going to do Rush for free. There's huge unemployment and income problems in the Dominican Republic, creating the motivation for selling one's body. It also borders Haiti, a place Rush could visit more or less anonymously via rental car. DR's median age is 24, Haiti's is 18 and is nearly completely black/American (non-white), in a state of poverty, but has much more HIV infection among the population.

Bushy Wushy is Upset

2006-06-27T14:54:00.000-05:00

Not that it's anything new, but it is a relatively new spin for Chief Shill of Staff Karl Rove to stage President Bush being angry. At least Lord and Vice President Cheney actually looks angry.

Does anyone actually think Bush would be happy about once again having his illegal activities being discovered by "spies" of the press? Aren't they supposed to be the stupid, biased, liberal media that knows nothing? Rather disgraceful that they outsmart the president and all the sycophants he's personally inserted into the government.

Yet another reason for impeachment in addition to the spying and breaking of every principle of freedom in the United States. And the ridiculous gas prices.

End is Finally Here

2006-06-06T09:44:00.000-05:00

It's the 6th day of the 6th month of the 6th year of the new millenium. 666. That means if you believe in Jesus, you must kill yourself and your president. If you don't, you obviously hate Jesus and worship Satan. You have until 6 PM.

The One, True, Virgin Born Tongue

2006-05-10T03:22:00.000-05:00

Some of you have been wondering what good is a shill. But I'm not just any shill. I'm the one, true shill. The shill who's tongue is the only known one to have experienced virgin birth. So pure it is that it can slip into even the tightest crack. While my nose lacks the lubrication and dexterity of my tongue, it is very capable of slipping in after my tongue has secured entry.

Cheney & Rove give Birth to Hayden

2006-05-08T13:24:00.000-05:00

White House Deputy Chief of Staff Karl Rove and Vice President Cheney unveiled the first product of the secret funding where all the tax dollars for Iraq have actually been going. It has been known as Mission Clone.

The child of their special love has been named General Michael Hayden and will rule the CIA as its new director.

President Bush and 1st Lady Laura were named as godfather and godmother. Stephen Colbert has promised to gain some extra weight.

Kissed by a Bush

2006-04-28T11:58:00.000-05:00

Or, how to use Bush league logic.

Oil prices at record highs.
Oil company profits at record highs.
Gas prices rising and nearing record highs.
Therefore, make it easier for oil companies to pollute and work on starting a new war in Iran.

A comic for the good boys and girls that don't believe in the environment monster.

Remember, impeachment of President Bush means we get Dick for president, not some crony fairy. Support Vice President Cheney, liberate the Bush. And pretty soon, Kaavya Viswanathan will be writing a book about how America got kissed by a prince while Pink sings Dear Mr. Sycophant on Youtube.

Impeach Bush - Give Dick a chance!

2006-04-23T19:23:00.000-05:00

Awww, cute, little Georgie boy isn't going to get his war in Iran. Nuclear intelligence just doesn't seem to agree with Bush. His cute little cheer leader Michelle Malkin will be very sad. He'll have to stomp up and down and demand TV time to "take it to the people". The people certainly know how to take it.

This brings up the highly important question of why isn't Dick president? Am I not praying hard enough? Bush has less going on between his ears than a radioactive waste site. Vice President Cheney, besides being hotter than the Duke lacrosse team, has proven his ability to handle financial interests of his own and at Halliburton.

When do the impeachment hearings begin? Football doesn't start for another 5 months and baseball is boring and filled with all those negro-South-American half-breed freedom-haters from little Spanish islands sneaking into our country.

Comic Book Upgrade

2006-04-20T00:14:00.000-05:00

It used to be that comic book producers could make a profit on regular cross and flag logo placement. Propaganda marketing from church and state "funding" combined with some cheap advertising for various quackery made life good.

Terrorists and republicans are winning, however. With all the easy flag waving going on, demand is down sharply for flag waving superheroes. It's hard to compete with a stud Texan war-president like George W. Bush and his sidekicks Dick 'The Hunter" Cheney and Donald "The Torturer" Rumsfeld.

Ad-guy to the rescue! Now comic books are providing product placement just like TV and movies. Cigarette-man is just a smoke away while Cola-woman keeps things cool. I learned this from one of my favorite sites for all things shill, PRwatch.org. They reported on a Wall Street Journal article that, of course, wrote about it in glowing terms because it will help comic book stock. Comic book corporations have an elusive target market in brain-dead 20-something "men" along with the pre-geek kids.

Wake me up when Condomman and Pillgirl have a Saturday morning cartoon.

Good Friday

2006-04-14T10:46:00.000-05:00

Um, that's, like, redundant.

Yet another reason to impeach that pope-sympathizer Bush. As President, Vice President Cheney will make a real man like Donald Rumsfeld vice president and make retarded holidays an illegal torturable offense just like abortion. Violators will be forced to drink Halliburton water. He'll also kick all those flip-flopping catholics out of the country back to Mexico where they belong. We need zero tolerance for those terrorist sympathizers, and only true born again christians, not Easter bunny licking catholics, can give us that.

A Poem for President Bush

2006-04-13T13:17:00.000-05:00

It's hard to express my love for Dick and George in writing. So I thought maybe a poem would work. If those terrorist helping liberal scumbags can write them, why can't I?

There once was a Bush
who fell on his tush
while choking his turds away
he then fell down
while adjusting his crown
unable to ride a bike
and pray

The seat was stuck
up into his gut
deep, deep he cried it was hard
to do his job
without a drink all day

Scooter, you're no Shill

2006-04-09T18:12:00.000-05:00

Scooter Libby
Scooter Libby
Scooter Libby
How could you? You were so obedient. Then you go rat on George and Dick just because you might go to jail for a little while? Now Duke Cunningham, there's a true shill. You'll never be a patriotic United States soldier, much less a true shill.

All this does is benefit the
liberal terrorists. Plame and Wilson should be locked up for what they've done. President Bush and Vice President Cheney will be remembered forever in history. Give me a couple hours and I'll think of something positive they will be remembered for.

Why isn't Dick President yet?

2006-04-02T10:54:00.000-05:00

Why is Bush still president? He keeps making Michael Moore look like a genius. Moore had an entire part of his Fahrenheit film dedicated to Bush having cozy relations with questionable Arabs. What does Bush do a year after the film? He attempts to sell our ports to an Arab country that financed the 9/11 terrorists and provided a safe-haven for Osama bin-Laden. Impeach him already.

All Vice President Cheney did was commit an act of treason by putting a CIA operative's life in danger. At least he knows how to keep people in line. He obviously knows how to make a company profitable without selling off its assets. Look how well Halliburton is doing.

What does Bush do? He tries to spy on everybody in America, starts wars he doesn't finish, and then starts new ones he can't finish.

When there's an emergency like Katrina, he's on vacation. When there's torture, he can't decide whether to deny it, blame it on somebody else, blame it on news reporting, or claim he had the right to do it all along.

We deserve better than this. We deserve impeachment. We deserve Dick.

Dick is Watching

2006-03-30T16:53:00.000-06:00

http://www.derfcity.com/n/newtoon2.html
Cheney knows what you do alone in the dark. He'll be gone by Monday, so look now.

And speaking of spying extremists ... if you're looking for some interactive fun, head over to Wikipedia's entry on Abortion. Only need to make up a username and password to sign-up. In return, you get to edit any entries you like, your own user page, and a chat page.

Update: I should have used more lubricant. Please don't follow any of the suggestions. Instead, I still encourage you to contribute, but do it in a way that will make the article more useful and informative for the people that read it.
Update 2: And I mean that in every possible sense. I think I've found something far more entertaining. Makes one wonder why a supposedly uncensored encylopedia like Wikipedia doesn't have an entry for this.
Update 3: An amusing and satiric FAQ on Wikipedia by Wired. Fortunately, I didn't write it so I can't be blocked for it. Let's just say that, while not literally true, it is accurate enough that it's worth reading and keeping in mind if you decide you're going to use Wiki in any way.

They are having a fit over me in their little chat area. I am Pro-Lick, BTW. They didn’t like my other name. Apparently in their quest to put their enemy to death, they’ve been accusing other users of being me and banning them.

Make the definition beautiful. You'll get plenty of funny messages in return. There are some real-life religious fanatics trying hard to control the content, and any changes that don't include "death" drive them into a frenzy.

Some suggestions:

Abortion liberates the uterus.
Abortion is like a shower for the uterus.
Abortion cleanses the uterus of bio-contaminants.
Abortion is fertilization for flowers.
Abortion frees the uterus of extremist elements.
Abortion liberates the female from imposed pregnancy.
Abortion liberates the female from a pregnant dictatorship.

I’ll stop by tonight some time and contribute. Enjoy yourselves and don’t take them seriously. Don’t respond (unless you want to prod them a bit further). Like the supreme court, none of them actually listen. You get 3 changes per 24 hours on any article, so you can switch your changes back twice if someone undoes them. Then you can move on to the pro-life entry and make changes on it, and so on. Narf.

Update: Wikipedia actually blocked me from use for this blog. They continue to let the religious fundamentalists and Bush lovers rule. The result is a poorly written mess that hides the most significant facts, like reading a White House press release when they are trying to hide something. If you need a free encylopedia, try Probert instead. Or, of course, Google. Here's another opinion on Wikipedia to consider.

Wiktionary Words of the Day

2006-03-15T14:38:00.000-06:00

Because Wiktionary has far fewer problems with personal/political opinions obfuscating content, I've been contributing there. I know it's fun listening to Bush trying to recite Karl Rove's essays, but sometimes you actually want to know what the facts are.

My words of the day, including an accurate Wikipedia article that hasn't been over-run by talk-radio ghost writers:

shill (I contributed anonymously to this one) plus another example of how to use it in a sentance
ghost writer
obfuscate
conflict of interest

Wikipedia Acquired by Fox News

2006-03-11T00:08:00.000-06:00

And it's about time. It finally allowed us to correct all those disparaging personal attacks on Halliburton and Vice President Cheney (Update: this has improved after I made some entries, though still more like reading a White House press release than objective history. I've all become the target of extremists trying to force their opinion by trying to block and delete me from Wikipedia).

Update: The new Wikipedia page of Halliburton Shill.
Update 3: I'm happy to report that Wikipedia does not allow politically slanted names. Not so happy that it was mine. I have since changed user names and my username is now Pro-Lick (it rhymes with Dick).

Now, instead of those liberal news filters, we only quote fair & balanced sources, like the Washington Times and the Bush/Cheney Campaign (i.e., my buddy Karl Rove).

It's not quite right yet. If a reader is a little too smart, they might notice that it still admits that Dick still has a huge financial interest via his stock options in Halliburton. After Dick publicly claimed he didn't on TV, it would be best if we just not mention that at all.

Soothing Abortion Lotion

2006-03-09T15:06:00.000-06:00

I don't really understand all this pro-abortion outrage. It's not like the common people have anything important to be concerned about. Us shills and our masters are still able to access high priced doctors and drugs in other countries if our cousin or pastor accidentally impregnates us. Or worse, if some Black or Mexican rapes us. As great Americans, it is their right to move freely abroad. Just be pro-life and don't hate babies.

As for the Internet training manual, it's not like the masses are smart enough to read and understand it. Certainly not the people that live in South Dakota. It's really only useful for those of us with important lives and the innocence of our wives to protect.

If you know of any good, freely available abortion training videos, please leave a comment or email me.

Out of curiosity, I did a search with Google for any actual educational or training videos existed. If the daughters or personal friends of President Bush or Vice President Cheney need my help, I want to be there for them. After all, it is not something that you want the person performing it to have only read about.

I didn't expect anything but bias and propaganda on the Web, but what surprised me is that even on the P2P networks, nearly everything is anti-abortion (what my friend Sam Alito likes to call pro-life).

What's amazing is the lack of any quality, honest videos. There are, of course, plenty available for a fee or via library if you're a student. Medical student and doctor education is a huge market. Some of the anti-abortion videos unintentionally have some minimal use for training. Most indecent films are actually better because the same hole involved is displayed in great detail.

The closest thing I've found to a training film is a Japanese video called Artificial Abortion.rm. Somebody who knows Japanese will have to let me know, but even it seems to be generally against abortion. The key difference is that it goes into great detail, which is what we need.

You'll need eMule installed for the link to work.

Cold Metal Between the Cheeks

2006-03-05T17:58:00.000-06:00

Yet another PR stunt and lie gone bad on the Bush war on terrorism. A Pat Tillman criminal probe to begin.

Tillman’s mother “told the Washington Post Saturday that the criminal investigation should have been launched at the onset. "The military has had every opportunity to do the right thing and they haven't," she said. "They knew all along that something was seriously wrong and they just wanted to cover it up."

The odd thing is that soldiers die fairly often from friendly fire, so how/why would the Army know immediately that something was wrong? Could it be because Tillman was not actually deployed in a unit actually active in the war? Hmmmm.

I'm not suggesting that the best way for the soldiers to bring Pat out of the shill closet was to squeeze some hot metal into his flesh. They could have invited and lead an independent reporting team to their location to film Tillman's uselessness.

OTOH, these guys are not hired for their intelligence. They get hired for their field skills. The ability to accurately shoot a gun, for example. Instead, apparently, they were being used to protect Pat's bottom.

As a shill, I want to personally thank Pat for serving as a military shill. He did his job and helped sell the war on terror.

Best Gut Wrenchers

2006-03-05T13:29:00.000-06:00

I'm not impressed with the last year of films where Brokeback Mountain will actually win the Academy Award (and set some sort of nomination record to further highlight the lack of other quality films). It deserves an honorable mention and a script award, but not the Oscar.

The Oscars should seriously consider taking a year off when nothing even matches up to the bottom of their list in the previous 2 years. It degrades the award if a film wins simply because of timing luck.

I'm not suggesting Brokeback is a horrible film, though it could have definitely used more bare bottoms. It is a rare film in that it will win based purely on the story quality. There's nothing exceptional about it otherwise. The directing was above average. The acting is pretty much what you would expect watching a TV movie, and the director did little if anything to correct its problems. The subject, however, is controversial enough to cause people to cough up their popcorn while watching. Which brings me to my best-of list for you ...

Rare films that are actually capable of making you feel sick.

I won't say which one, to avoid any enjoyable surprises, but one is even about creating and using such films to cure criminals. We at Halliburton do not approve of any such psychological warfare unless it uses a petroleum based product.

Another oddity is how these films tend to group together. Clockwork and Deliverence were both released in the early 70s, then there were near decade-size gaps before another wrencher appears.

To add to the odd, there are no actual horrror films on the list, but 1 documentary did make it. The closest to the horror genre is Stephen King's reworked novel. I may have put Saw (2004) on this list, but it came after I saw all of these films and simply didn't have enough to overcome that. Another problem with horror films is that they tend not to draw the better acting talent (Misery was an exception), and the feeling that these films really happened/are happening to someone is a very necessary part that lesser acting talent can interfere with.

No 80s films, though Robocop (1987) is close. Some of you may find it more surprising that no pre-70s films are on the list. To me, because of the realism factor, that's not as surprising. Technical limitations were the major factor, though 20 years of war & post-war conservative censorship rules didn't help.

No repeats by any actor/director.

The final oddity is that it doesn't include any of the great 90s psycho-horror films like Silence of the Lambs, Seven, or American Psycho. All of those are capable, I'm sure, of deeply affecting some people, but they are all a bit too surreal and glossy.

All are great films, regardless of whether your stomach churns or not, but listed here in order of least likely to make you ill to the most likely:

Irreversible is the 1 film I'm actually scared to watch again. Which isn't a problem only because I remember it so vividly.

Trends in Stupidity

2006-02-25T12:19:00.000-06:00

If you think the whole Muslim/Islam/Mohammed cartoon/comic craze is ridiculous, look no further than the USA for a censored education (although the United Arab Emirates or UAE do a fine job too). On the Dilbert Blog, Scott Adams (the comic's author) writes

as "h-e-double-toothpicks". In today's Get Fuzzy, the author writes it as "#€%%"

Apparently, the latest "child safe" software is out to satisfy even the dumbest parents. I'm talking about your gosh, darn Lutheran parents, too, not just the Southern Baptist variety with moms named Tammy.

This is a word that anybody can find in a standard dictionary in a library. It also gets used in 54 separate verses within the holy book of Christ licking souls everywhere.

Has anybody thought for even a half second what would happen if an artist redrew the Abu Ghraib torture photos with Jesus as the cigarette smoking soldier smiling for the camera over far less than fully clothed bodies? Then, rather than being released on some obscure Web site or tiny, punk newspaper, got printed on the op/ed pages of every capitol city's paper in America?

Granted, the thought leaves me smiling. But I'm just a shill for our Lord Bush.

Obviously, the real problem here is liberals. All those liberal Muslims against free expression. As Dick Cheney would say:
"Go Faith Under Christ Kids yourselves."

Shills Infiltration Successful

2006-02-24T22:12:00.000-06:00

Recently, through the covert operations of a shill venture, Halliburton Shill has been added to Wikipedia, the encylopedia.

Update: Because of politics and egos at Wiki, an updated link for Halliburton Shill.

It, of course, features the man, the shill, the legend: Vice President of the United States of America, Dick Cheney and his favorite corporate investment partner .

In a smaller operation performed by a sub-venture of this venture, we infiltrated the Dilbert Blog:

Plucking the Bird Conspiracy

2006-02-22T10:17:00.000-06:00

As the liberal news filter has reported, a good man and dedicated American was shot while hunting with our Vice President, Dick Cheney. What they haven't reported is that the actual source of the shot was the bird Dick shot at.

Dick, in an attempt to protect his close, personal friend who was out enjoying guns with him and his extra-marital female companion who's identity has not been released, shot at the bird. It was not, however, the pellets from his shotgun that hit Harry Whittington.

That's right!

Recent intelligence indicates that the damage to Whittington 's face was in fact caused by a smaller gun. In fact, it has been shown that the damage is remarkably similar to what would be experienced as a result of a bird dropping.

You heard it hear first!

Terrorist bird networks have developed high pressure release mechanisms to propel their droppings. The CIA has confirmed these bird networks have been plotting to assassinate our President and Vice President, including the lawyers that protect their legal rights and those of the corporations that support American values.

In fact, they believe that the birds have consumed nuclear waste that could be digested and used to mutilate and kill American citizens.

That's right!

They are in possession of weapons of mass destruction. It is time to send these birds a lesson. No longer can we stand back and let birds fly freely. We must immediately pursue war on the birds. Not just the quails. The pheasants and pigeons, too, and other known conspirators of radical feather extremists.

been there, swallowed that

2006-02-20T11:31:00.000-06:00

Virtual physical relations isn't all it's pumped up to be. Computer copulating isn't working for me. I tried typing the commands you see below using a word that rhymes with buck but starts with F. As you can see, it couldn't even figure out whether to do it inside or out. I would have been happy with either.

C:\buck me in the arse
'buck' is not recognized as an internal or external command,
operable program or batch file.

C:\yes
'yes' is not recognized as an internal or external command,
operable program or batch file.

C:\buck me
'buck' is not recognized as an internal or external command,
operable program or batch file.

I think I'm switching to Linux. It's supposed to have more understanding commands. I also hear Vice President Cheney uses it to control his bunker.

Hurray for Abu Ghraib

2006-02-19T12:50:00.000-06:00

It's not quite the same as Dick Cheney shooting a long rifle, but quality photos of N.A_K.E'D, hairy men together are very hard to get. Much less, the hairy buttocks of real men in real life as opposed to actors or models.

That's why I'm so happy. An Australian paper called the Sydney Morning Herald did a great job of providing not just those tiny little thumbnails plastered all over the Web, but large, detailed photos. I saved them all. This is a personal favorite. It includes a midget.

Because they get shrunk so much, you miss out on a lot of detail. For example, in my favorite, I focused on a part of the photo that you wouldn't otherwise notice below:

According to Microsoft Word, the soldier that had his way with the man's cheeks did not spell rapist correctly. It's still a pretty photo of underwear pulled down.

President Bush, Vice President Cheney, and war hero Donald Rumsfeld all deserve medals of honor for making this possible. They have shown holy courage in sharing our traditional values with non-Americans everywhere. If only Fox News would dedicate itself to the truth, we could have close-up video of all this.

Here's another example where apparently they helped liberate a virgin rectum:

Salon also has some exclusive photos (and without any blacked out areas!).

Shows us Your Guns, Dick

2006-02-17T14:43:00.000-06:00

All this talk about Vice President Cheney and his guns has made me hot for more photos of Dick with guns. I still need a 2006 Calendar. Maybe he can pose with some really big guns. There are some tanks in Iraq in need of the soft, expert touch of Dick Cheney's hands.

I Dream of Cheney

2006-02-14T12:10:00.000-06:00

Last night, I dreamt of Dick. Poor dick had to spend time in the intensive care unit after shooting a 78-year old quail hunter in Texas. Accidentally, of course. More importantly, Dick was not shot, though he may be hurt. Apparently, he needed some time to get in touch with his feelings. Poor Vice President Cheney. I'm here for you if your bottom needs rubbing and warming. My heart enlarged 3 sizes for you, just like that Gollum guy in Dr. Seuss. Even a useless site like ESPN reported it. Apparently, the PR office of Bush, controlled by my squeaking little piglet Karl Rove, tried to cover it up. After a local news filter reported the truth, they had to report on it with their own spin. Way to go, Karl. You've made my weekly Bush all-star list. Right after Dick, of course.

Church of the Holy Anus of Jesus

2006-02-10T10:44:00.000-06:00

To make better use of the tax-payer funds made available for faith based organizations, I intend to launch the Church and School of the Holy Anus.

We will emphasize the importance of keeping your anus clean and well exercised to prepare for the second coming. We will also emphasize having a close group of friends, like the 12 apostles, to help you with this task. Only the gifts god has given us directly will be employed. Our tongue, fingers, and of course water.

Our goal is to also add a pre-school and independent private school by 2008. Education through humor, comics, cartoons, and deep, internal prayer will be welcomed and encouraged.

To avoid misunderstandings with our holy people (pastors) and our congregation, we will only baptize those of legal adult age in the United States of America. Children will be educated, but will not be allowed to even watch a baptism until they are adults.

Converts from outside religions that do not properly respect the importance of the anus and tongue, nor why god placed it on our bodies, will be allowed to partake in baptisms as soon as the local pastor feels they understand our gospel. Men and women are equally welcome, and can and will hold equal positions within our community. The anus was placed equally on all of god's creatures.

I want to thank Vice President Cheney who has made available faith-based education funds possible through PR President Bush.

If you would like to donate or help me with the legal and government details of founding this church, please leave a comment or email me.

I am eager to establish this true religion before we lose Cheney and bush to impeachment or election. Fortunately, we do now have a more family-oriented Supreme Court to protect us in the many years ahead with the addition of Judge Alito.

A proud member of Shills for Dick in 2008.

Hump Day

2006-02-08T15:03:00.000-06:00

My favorite day of the week. Wednesday, aka Hump Day.

A proud member of Shills for Dick in 2008.

Update on America's Blessings

2006-02-05T20:05:00.000-06:00

This blog is dedicated to the loving memory of grandpa Munster.
Recent news about Americans of traditional, moral values and those allies that support our war on terrorism and provide needed oil, like the Muslims of Saudi Arabia. More importantly, they watch the Super Bowl and actually take the ads as seriously as cartoons about Mohammed.

1,000 Egyptian workers drown. They were on their way home from Saudi Arabia on an old ferry through the kindness of a free-market, unregulated corporation. Roughly 1,000 dead, 400 injured.
88 die in Phillipines at a TV show lottery stampede. Nothing like death by being squashed. Lotter stakes were an amazing $250. Wow. Glad to see the global competition of shoe manufacturing for athletes in big football games is rewarding hard work.
4th grade class pen-pal soldier dies in Iraq. A native of the Bible Belt, this Tennessee 1st Lt. enjoyed death by road-side bomb. "A 23-year-old soldier born in Lincoln [Nebraska] who dreamed of helping war orphans....", his parents said.
And the finisher: Grandpa Munster Dies! Please, god, oh holy jesus, say it isn't so.

More Dick Please

2006-02-03T11:34:00.000-06:00

Maybe it's just me, but I can't stop watching the State of the Union. Dick looked so hot. When our glorious and moral President George W. Bush said Vice President Cheney, I had to get out the lubricant. Oil based, of course.

Just writing about it is making me hot. They focused on Bush so much that they didn't show nearly enough Dick. Thank god for video editors on computers.

If you haven't seen it yet, here's the actual democratic response. Very funny cartoon, even if muslims and Mohammed are not involved (Saudi Arabia is).

When Will God Actually Bless America?

2006-02-01T13:29:00.000-06:00

AKA, the good, old' USA. Bush and his flag waving republican lap-dogs keep saying "god bless America". The rhetoric and propaganda spewing State of the Union being the latest example. September 11 was certainly a nice gift. Hurricane Katrina is referred to as an act of god. Are they actually blessings in disguise? LOL.

So the Dick & George presidency is actually a blessing in disguise. We're actually benefiting from their combined corruption & cluelessness. Thank god for their dedication to energy and gas prices. Core values are important. Especially oil.

Will god impeach Bush/Cheney? How about the Supreme Court? Will god bless it with people of actual courage and knowledge instead of moral sycophants like Alito? Just curious.

Enjoy your blessings & core beliefs.

Love that Hate Appreciation

2006-01-30T12:33:00.000-06:00

An update on my previous blog on hating everybody.

It's good to see that hating outside the box is being represensted in the main stream. My man Aaron M. in his Boondocks comix gave us haters a shout out today.

Unlike those republican whores that flip-flop between being called right, right wing, GOP, conservatives, and neo-cons, we haters are honest to you. We don't lie about love when you know we're just screaming for the Benjamins. We give you the truth, not the faked.

Yo, yo , yo, shill out, dogs.

Osama Bin Laden Upgraded to Bush's Distraction Device

2006-01-27T14:26:00.000-06:00

No sooner did Cheney's boy Karl Rove give a speech about using war and terror to get republicans elected (last weekend, to be honest) than did they send out their PR puppy George W. to proclaim the obvious. Osama is important. Even if it directly contradicts what Bush said while lying about Iraq in his pre-War propaganda:

"I'll repeat what I said. I truly am not that concerned about him." President Bush, March 13, 2002

Bin Laden takes over for the tired and overused Saddam Hussein as the official tool for avoiding issues. They still don't care about Osama. He, to be honest, simply helps to shift the common people's attention away from the terrible Supreme Court nomination Alito. This is so fewer people contact their senators and complain about electing Samuel Alito as a Supreme Court justice, even if it requires a filibuster at this point.

Let's be serious. If they ever had been concerned about Osama, they would have used Saddam to get inside information on where Bin Laden actually is. Even though Osama and Saddam hated each other, anti-American people still trusted him and would have provided connections and, OH MY GOD, actual intelligence on Osama.

Instead, Cheney's Bush simply barks Al Qaeda and Osama whenever they need a distraction from more important issues - like getting Supreme Court judges elected that will permit them to torture and spy on Americans without any justification.

Especially now that the overwhelming majority views Iraq as a mistake, if not a blunder, lie, or an Abramoff/Delay-type approach to making close, personal friends and family rich with non-compete contracts.

Honest, We Didn't Do Anything

2006-01-24T15:11:00.000-06:00

Not a thing. Thanks to President Bush, all we do is receive tax payer money. We do nothing in Iraq. Don't believe this MSNBC article, or this UK Guardian one, or this Reuters one, or any of the other 416 related articles that Google has. As usual, Fox News is the only soure of fair & balanced (tm) stories.

We haven't authorized our subsidiary KBR to spend any money on anything in Iraq, much less our troops. I pray Dick's health hasn't been hurt by these allegations. Poor, poor Dick. Our prayers are with you Vice President Cheney. I'm confident that the value of your Halliburton stock options have not dropped. Wish Supreme Court nominee Alito good luck for us.

Welcome to the Royal Kingdom of Cheney's Bush

2006-01-20T13:36:00.000-06:00

Power to the Peephole - A VERY funny animated comic (aka cartoon)

Funnier than Alito's wife crying over a republican senator's question instead of torture, spying, and no-bid contracts to close-personal friends that provide kickbacks.

More powerful than the mob, faster than a plane full of terrorists, quieter than a wiretap, able to leap impeachment with a single Al-Qaeda press release.

Love Your Country - Impeach Dick's Bush

2006-01-18T13:45:00.000-06:00

Some sites I've enjoyed while doing searches on impeachment:

Slowpoke - Words Speak Louder Than Actions (how to answer Supreme Court judge nominee questions like Alito) - you even get comics with this
Building a Better Mousetrap - this 1 includes a pretty photo of Vice President Cheney
Dissident Voice - Impeachment Memo - Bush's Idiot Defense (this requires a sense of humor, so the evangelical, fundamentalist, and people that call themselves christians or traditionalists will have a difficult time understanding, much less laughing)

Wave to Dick

Impeachment Watch

2006-01-16T13:06:00.000-06:00

Search Statistics for: impeachment bush cheney
BLOGs
Technorati: 6,165 posts
Blogpulse: 3266 - showing growth and big jumps
Blogdigger: 1517
Google/blogger: about 5,393
NEWS
Yahoo: about 203
Google: about 545

Correct, I'm not watching my Blogspot censorship from Google and Blogger's Karl Rove approved SafeSearch engine. I'm sure that's to blame on mistakes of beta engines. Check out Technorati for complete, uncensored blog search results.

I'm watching the slow, steady march toward the impeachment of President Bush, Vice President Cheney, and everyone put into office by their mob-like, crony system of unaccountable idiots that have no recollection.

I'm sure some of you we'll claim that it's not their fault. Bush & Cheney are not to blame for their subordinates poor intelligence. Who's poor intelligence put those people in office? Who hired them?

Which is it?

Bush & Cheney are too incompetent to hire.
They are stupid, and receiving poor intelligence from other people they trust and use to "filter" their information.
They know what they are doing, intentionally abusing their power in office, and are in fact the ones responsible, accountable, and to blame for all the impeachable offenses their oval office have committed?

Cry me an Alito. Take your time. You may select more than 1. They are not mutually exclusive. You have a whole week before you have the weekend and football playoff game distractions to blame for your inability to recall any of the events of this article.

Footnote: Yes, I'm probably just another liberal media person trying to liberate the troops from mutilation, death, and torture. I just don't know how to support the troops. My "culture of life" is interfering with my ability to see the troops as war machines, not people. I'm just a patriot that thinks presidents and Supreme Court judges need to read the constitution and support CIA troops.

Cry Me a Shill

2006-01-13T15:20:00.000-06:00

Don't blame the wife, Mrs. Alito. Wives are all innocent and loving. Blame her husband, Samuel Alito, for using a cheap lawyer ploy in attempt to make himself a Supreme Court Judge. Can you trust somebody that tries to avoid tough, sincere questions using a woman's tears to tug at our hearts?

Reminder: Supreme Court judges are elected permanently. They don't have to leave until they die. These positions should be taken more seriously than even the President of the United States.

Loyalty, Dedication & Patriotism

2006-01-13T14:01:00.000-06:00

Ask not what your shill can do for you, but what you can do for your shill.

Impeachment

2006-01-11T16:45:00.000-06:00

Lies, bribes, torture, and spies.

Time to impeach Bush. In fact, impeachment is long overdue. Impeach Bush, impeach Bush, impeach Bush.

Dick Cheney will be our President. That way, Tom Delay can be promoted to Vice President. Jack Abramoff would make a great Federal Reserve chairman.

Love to Hate

2006-01-10T17:21:00.000-06:00

I really hate people. If it weren't for them buying the merchandise I shill for the kind and generous corporations that trickle upon me, I'd probably just kill them all.

I discovered this while thinking of my new year's resolutions. So my resolutions include to take some part time jobs that shill goods that help deform & kill people, like cigarettes. This way, I can pay for the gas in my SUV and my wife's yellow Hummer so we don't have to walk 6 blocks to the grocery store.

Come to think of it, I'd hate my wife too, but I have to love her for our lord Jesus (prAISE JEEsus).

Excellent Oral Required

2005-12-28T16:53:00.000-06:00

When I discovered that, to add to President Bush's list of communication errors, he publicly admitted to an impeachable offense, I decided to check out what more mundane and technically oriented jobs required of those hired. I found this common:

Required Skills:
Oral Communication: Excellent

This particular quote is from a programmer position. Maybe Microsoft's confusion as to who to hire is why they can't produce a game machine that doesn't overheat and crash. Like the current president of the USA. Of course, us shills don't need to do much other than dress and look pretty. But we is special and patriotic like athletes.

There's more in a very well researched article by Salon.com.

Today on SoulSeek

2005-12-26T15:00:00.000-06:00

* Entered room
[hndspn] http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_1399668.html
[MugWump] are they gonna shoot the photographer? in the head? in Tiennaman Square?
[3 Wise Shills] all photographers must die
[MugWump] owww
[3 Wise Shills] they are all part of the liberal media
[3 Wise Shills] We need to liberate China now
[MugWump] no we dont

From an SLSK chat room.

Gonna Use My Fingers

2005-12-21T16:48:00.000-06:00

Did you know that the peak amplitude in the Pretenders "Brass in Pocket" comes at the point where Ms. Hynde sings "fingers"?

Not to suggest that you actually buy the song or album. It's owned by Warner Bros., a very big member of the RIAA. Of the people who created the song, 2 are dead. In other words, the artists are going to see little if any money as a result. The bloated corporation that owns it is going to use most of it to pay bloated executives to sue kids that, in effect, serve as the Internet's radio. Why? They don't play what the corporations' want when they want. Nor do they play commercials for more of the bloated corporations or its RIAA partners' digestive waste.

If you like Hynde's voice and would to like to hear more like it, I recommend an indie like Madam Datum. The lead singer sounds like an impressionistic version of Hynde.

Winter Shilling

2005-12-14T15:45:00.000-06:00

If you need someone to wear your brand logo on their hat or coat, I'm here for you.

Snow Celebrations

2005-12-13T15:04:00.000-06:00

With the holidays and winter here, we are rewarded with beautiful, white snow. At least, if you're not a bible belt, red state Jesus licker, in which case, you're not rewarded. NOL.

With the snow here, it's time to think about the important things. For example, what is your favorite position in the snow? Do you prefer it on top or the bottom? Do you like it on your knees? Do you prefer all of your clothes off or with some clothes between you and the snow?

If you're receiving instead of giving, you also have the added option of whether you like it lying down on your tummy while your santa inserts his claws.

Be careful and enjoy your white christmas. You don't want sensitive regions to get frostbite.

the REAL meaning of File Sharing

2005-11-16T13:07:00.000-06:00

You don't truly understand the real meaning of file sharing until you share Howard Stern's Anal Ring Toss with someone that shares your interest in Iran. Cheek to cheek, around the world.

I like anus

2005-11-16T03:22:00.000-06:00

Nothing beats the feel of a warm rectum on your tongue.
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